when you ask me a generic question, 

I give you a generic answer. 

I answer knowing damn well you want to confirm your preconceived notion, 

your eyes light up, thinking I fell for your unassuming questions,

yet you fail to read into my nonchalant manner. 

you didnt even realize you allowed yourself 

to express with your eyes or your body language 

naivety

 for what you have thought was naive,

my friend I am not.

the word is tolerance - tolerant because I was trying to atone.
what you still speculate (amongst them)
is disappointing but to go as far as attack my pride
your social value is disgusting

ill give you a big hint: you are immature & irrelevant to me
Ive known that for a long time

 you have never asked that I know this?
but you can go ahead ask about the ppl in my life, 

that keep me balanced & piecing together snippets, 

hearsay, judgement, opinion

loose information is entertaining or okay on one hand
completely irrelevant to real truth on the other.
youve grasped general demographic.
You are blinded by your ego to think you
have mastered figuring me out when 

in actuality ive been deceiving/avoiding the fool in you.

you can have the fake truth you deserve,

im comfortable in my own skin,

misleading a fuckwit like yourself,

is my introverted joy

you just called me a liar & said that you would never believe me"

you claim that Im lying right now

so why do you think I was ever telling you the truth back then

i know sincere people when i feel them,

the same personalities types

 its funny when you were the one,

 telling me who the fck I was in front of my face,

when it was me who knew you were baiting me,

for stupid reasons before you even spoke to me, 

yet Im the naive one? narcissistic dumb fuck.

worldly speculations deemed truth

 if you see me with a girl, I tell you its a friend,

it doesnt mean shes my girlfriend and when I continue 

to say she isnt it does not imply Im misleading her short term 

or have some ulterior motive - it means she is my fucking friend 

and so if you hear about me thru someone else

 that I done something specifically wrong, 

it does not mean what I've portrayed myself to you was an act, 

sometimes the antagonist makes themselves out to be the protagonist.

 its ashame you are quick to conclude.

family

 i cant even function,

as i feel so disgusted
bull shit there was no favoritism
i was the one who taught u the abcs,
i was the one who took you to the libraries,
i was the one who bought u those books to read
i was always a couple steps ahead of the shifty movers
swift fakers,
i had never expected my own blood, to undertake me
how many yrs dealing with a heart finely severed
fck even my enemies who play games treat me better,

blood, water...alll the same thing...

 Forever has faded, no longer holding up

Us is no longer a word used between us

she chose him

 my life is a joke, coal to the brim,

every year, effort bigger than before,
yet i still end up alone in my room,
i see love and laughter next door,
i hear it across the road with the party full of joy,
my heart even wants to jump out of my chest,
wanting to leave my own void,
she has given up on "us"
with seemingly a specific someone sent for me,
fate toys with me, love is not enough,
life is not fair, love has no time to love me,
it is too blunt,

nurture

 silly me for thinking i could have a piece of heaven,

a gift to ease a wanderers soul,

the gift given - to nurture another child,

but a gift knowing that it wasnt ever mine,

opened up my heart, feelings similar to the 4 seasons of life,

yet a gift that eventually grows wings enough to watch fly away,

that day was today...
my gift no longer by my side,
gone somewhere in the beautiful sky,
my solidarity, reminding i got nothing left,
i pretend to hold my smile, as I know her eyes,
can only utter sorry wanting to experience life,